Tent of Mourning
Bay Area Ta’anit Esther Actifest
March 21, 2024
A Tent of Mourning for all whose hearts are open and tender enough to grieve both Palestinian and Israeli lives lost this Ta’anit Esther / Fast of Esther.
This Ta'anit Esther / Fast of Esther (March 21st), The Shalom Center is erecting a Tent of Mourning for all whose hearts are open and tender enough to grieve both Palestinian and Israeli lives lost since and beyond October 7th. In collaboration with over a dozen local and national partners, and inspired by Queen Esther's ritualized grief in the Purim story, we are curating a full day of sessions, teachings, and self-directed ritual to support attendees in deepening and expanding their grief. With a mix of traditional and creative mourning practices, we are opening to the possibility that, through our shared mourning, new paths towards peace might shake loose for us as individuals and more broadly.
This year,
we believe the
ancient echoes
of Ta’anit Esther…
…are
inviting us to embody prophetic grief.
If you plan to attend, please register in advance by clicking the button below. This will greatly help the organizers plan for the day. Walk-ins are also welcome.
Plan Your Day
This gathering takes place in Huchiun, a territory of Lisjan Nation. The Lisjan Nation people have lived here for millenia. They never left, sold or ceded their land, and they never lost their lifeways. Lisjan Nation people live here now, in their sovereignty, rematriating their land for the benefit of the earth and all beings. To learn more, including how you can take material action towards supporting Lisjan Nation sovereignty, including paying the Shuumi land tax, visit Sogorea Te’ Land Trust.
Session Titles, Times, & Descriptions
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Begin the day in ritual together, as the fast begins and the fire is kindled.
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Morning service of the heart.
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Are you ready for a good cry? Do you need a place to just let it out? Leave you inhibitions and come tap into the deep well that is held inside our bodies. Come cry with me.
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During this time of witnessing war, inflation, threats to our democracy, and personal loss or illness, while still fearing COVID, it’s important to employ tools to support us in our everyday life. In this workshop we will practice offering compassion for yourself and others as a source for self-healing and deepening our community connections.
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In this session we will invite our hearts and souls to speak through a facilitated art exploration, reflective writing, mindfulness meditation, and a brief text study.
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This workshop is for those who find solace in writing and the sensory experience of grief. We will create a safe-as-possible, deep, and expansive container for everything that has arisen from the ongoing violence and loss in Israel/Gaza/Palestine. Participants will also learn somatic tools for when the grief becomes too much.
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This workshop is for those who find solace in writing and the sensory experience of grief. We will create a safe-as-possible, deep, and expansive container for everything that has arisen from the ongoing violence and loss in Israel/Gaza/Palestine. Participants will also learn somatic tools for when the grief becomes too much.
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The Shechinah is defined as the neighbor, she who dwells intimately within reach. Through guided meditation, fasting, and prayer, we explore the quest for consciousness and connection with Shechinah in times such as these.
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Join us as we use our rich musical tradition to express our grief and yearning for comfort at this time of mourning.
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Nature Heals! Join us in a supportive space to learn and practice simple techniques for working with our grief, anger, heartache, hope and inspirations. All hearts welcome.
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We come together, with compassion, respect, and gentleness, to breathe and to be moved by whatever is moving through us. Accompanied by poetry, music, and silence, we listen to the inner songline and respond, each in our individual way. Writing and drawing materials will also be available. All capacities and abilities are welcome.
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This will be a space for listening to others' and own feelings of deep pain and love in connection with the war in Israel and Gaza.
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Particularly this year, how are we supposed to make sense of the violence at the end of the Purim story? What does this story have to teach us about seeking safety and wellbeing for Jews and for all people? Viewing the megillah through the lens of satire, we will explore Purim’s politic of diasporist solidarity.
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Come learn how to make a simple amulet to hold grief with artist Laura Rifkin. Using needles, thread, cloth, and natural objects, we will bring tenderness to our grief as we create a small hand-stitched pouch around a symbolic object. Art supplies will be provided. No art or sewing experience is needed.
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This is a session of hitboneinut (Judaism's active contemplation practice), beginning with a framing drash, a guided sit, and closing with time to reflect, grieve, and find balance together. This practice is helps to develop and strengthen our humility and compassion, patience and faith as we forge a graceful pathway through loss. All are welcome, no previous experience needed.
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How do we observe a full mourning cycle for a loved one lost when we experience loss after loss after loss? How do we physicalize our grief when that grief is never-ending? Join R' Faryn to learn about the practice of kriyah (tearing of one's garments as an act of mourning) and how to engage in that practice when loss is continuously unfolding.
Note: If possible, please bring a garment (t-shirt, etc) that you’re ok to ritually tear.
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Join this egalitarian Jewish Renewal chanting afternoon service. All daveners (pray-ers) welcome. Come with an open heart.
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Mindfulness Meditation is the practice of accepting what we experience in this moment with curiosity and compassion.
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Join Dr. Laura Rifkin, who will guide you through the process of weaving individual kriyah (grief) ribbons into a community ritual installation. Supplies will be provided. No art or weaving experience is needed.
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This interactive, guided meditation will explore the intertwined relationship gratitude and grief. Meditation teacher and author Oren Jay Sofer will lead a practice nourishing our hearts with joy and wonder as an essential support for mourning.
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How might we allow ourselves to be loved by the land? By the more-than-human beings of our local ecosystems? What moves in our ancestral body when we deepen in relationship with our current home? Join us for a meditative, guided, and courageous exploration of forging ecological kinship in the context of grief, pain, and longing.
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Poetry speaks in the language of metaphor, which makes it a meaningful companion in times of grief. In this workshop, we will explore several poems, including several written in the aftermath of October 7, that speak to myriad dimensions of grief and mourning.
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Lovingkindness (Metta) meditation is a mantra practice of offering phrases and blessings of lovingkindness to a variety of individuals and groups.
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Don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone grieving. Now, more than ever, your support is needed. You might not know exactly what to say or what to do, but that’s okay. You don’t need to have answers or give advice. The most important thing you can do for a grieving person is simply be there. Your support and caring presence will help him or her cope with the pain and begin to heal.
(From Kelman and Fendel, Nichum Aveilim, A Guide for the Comforter)
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Join us for a sacred listening circle facilitated by Rebecca Schisler. This will be a space to explore and express the emotional reactions we are having to unfolding events in Israel/Palestine, the war in Gaza, our communities, and more. This is not a space for debate or argument, but rather one to honor our experiences with the intention of witnessing and being witnessed by one another with care. All are welcome across the political spectrum.
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We process experiences in our lives through our soma, and while intellect and coherent language allow us to express, often our bodies need to sound our emotions in unfiltered ways that allow for a deeper release. You are welcome to enter this safe and inclusive space, where our individual sounding allows permission for the collective to release that which we have been carrying, making space for more ease and peace within - let it be a prayer, a incantation, or a message to the beyond.
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An opportunity to give voice to grief and pain. Inspired by a midrash naming ten words for prayer, we will sing and seek release on ruach/ breath and spirit. As the Fast of Esther approaches its conclusion, we will try to use our voices to transition from a state of grief to the tiniest possibility for hope. This is for anyone – regardless of their familiarity with music, prayer, or Jewish ritual.
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Please join facilitators Laura Rifkin and Renée Benmeleh in a guided grief ceremony based on ancient teachings. We will be creating a gentle movement ritual and a collective grief mandala so that we can hold our mourning in sacred community.
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Join this communal chanting of niggunim (wordless melodies), as we transition out of Ta’anit Esther and into new possibilities.
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Free dinner for all.
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A new day, transformed.
Tent of Mourning Agreements
By entering the Tent of Mourning Actifest, I agree to adhere to the following:
Practice Selfcare: Be willing to listen to and honor the needs of your heart and body. Remember to take breaths in conversations, take breaks, drink water. All for empathy and compassion for yourself and those around you.
Practice Self Focus: Attend to and speak about your own experiences and responses. Do not speak for a whole group or express assumptions about the experience of others.
Refrain From Blaming Or Shaming Self & Others: Practice giving skillful feedback.
Understand The Difference Between Intent & Impact: Try to understand and acknowledge impact. Denying the impact of something said by focusing on intent is often more destructive than the initial interaction.
Try It On: Be willing to “try on” new ideas, or ways of doing things that might not be what you prefer or are familiar with.
Practice “Both / And”: Remember everyone’s experience is valid. When speaking, substitute “and” for “but.” This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities.
Be Inclusive: Encourage full participation by all present. Notice who is not being included or who may be traditionally left out, and invite them in.
Move Up / Move Back: Take note of who is speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider “moving back” and vice versa.
Practice Mindful Listening: Try to avoid planning what you’ll say as you listen to others. Be willing to be surprised, to learn something new. Listen with your whole self.
Confidentiality: Take home learnings, but don’t identify anyone other than yourself, now or later. If you want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said during a session, ask first and respect their wishes.
Right To Pass: You can say “I pass” if you don’t wish to speak.
No Signs, No Flags: This is a space for grieving and mourning. By entering this space, I agree to not carry signs or flags so that the focus can be on our belonging together in our grief.
Adapted from the East Bay Meditation Center’s Multicultural Agreements.
Tent of Mourning FAQs
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This actifest is being hosted by The Shalom Center, in partnership with over a dozen local and national partners, as well as a local grassroots cohort. For a full list of partners and to meet the cohort members, see below.
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Ta’anit Esther is a day of ritual mourning on the Jewish calendar. It serves as spiritual preparation for the holiday of Purim and is traditionally observed with a daytime fast, among other practices.
Ta’anit Esther is observed in honor of Queen Esther’s ritualized grief in the Purim story. Prior to approaching the King to reveal her identity and plead with him to save the Jews of Shushan, Queen Esther fasts and puts on sackcloth and ashes. She also requires the rest of the Jews of Shushan join her in these mourning rituals.
You can read more about Ta’anit Esther here. You can also read more about The Shalom Center’s approach to Ta’anit Esther and Purim this year here.
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This event is centering grief as an ancient practice and sacred spiritual tool.
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Yes.
To foster a shared space rooted in common values and accountability to one another, we have crafted group agreements. Those wishing to attend the Tent of Mourning will be required to read and consent to these agreements in order to participate.
You can read the agreements above and also here.
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The Tent of Mourning actifest will be open to the public from 5:30am (before sunrise) until 9:30pm (after sundown) on March 21.
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Ta’anit Esther is a daylight fast day on the Jewish calendar.
Between 5:30-5:45am, we will have bagels for anyone present - beore the fast begins. Thank you to Boichik Bagels for donating the bagels and shmear!
At 8pm, after the fast ends, we are hosting a free community break fast for all attendees who wish to partake. Rice and lentils are on the menu.
Attendees are encouraged to take care of themselves throughout the day however they see fit and are welcome to bring snacks and/or drinks to nourish them as is their need and/or practice.
There will be no food for purchase at the actifest. The only food that will be served will be before and after the fast, as noted above.
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Yes! A quick-glance schedule is just above this and a full schedule with session titles and descriptions is below.
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Of course not. This is for all who are holding grief for the too many lives lost since and beyond 10/7.
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Yes! We’d love your support! Please fill out this form and we’ll be in touch.
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Please email The Shalom Center’s Associate Director, Rabbi Nate DeGroot at ndegroot@theshalomcenter.org with any questions.
Meet the Tent of Mourning Organizing Cohort
The cohort is serving as the core organizing team and host committee.
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Carey Averbook (they/she) is a multifaceted Jewish spiritual leader and experiential educator based in Oakland/Huichin. Carey specializes in somatic and nature-connected grief work, incorporating elements from Jewish tradition into rituals that address trauma, anger expression, hurting, healing, and culture change for greater well-being. With a commitment to fostering cultures of belonging, connection, and teshuva (return & repair), Carey serves as a Chaplain Intern, JCCSF Peer Connector, and group facilitator. As a JCCSF Peer Connector, Carey works in relational-based engagement to meet people in their 20s/30s and connect them to meaningful Jewish life and community. Beyond spiritual leadership, Carey is a poet, photographer, candle-maker, tennis player, and devotee of mystery, wisdom, and radical love.
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Dania is a Jewish, white, queer, cis woman living and working in the Bay Area. She is a psychotherapist, facilitator, and organizer. Dania's life/work is rooted deeply in her cultural heritage of tikkun olam. She's excited to connect her 20+ years of Jewish education and community work to co-create space for grieving, healing, and re-membering in community.
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Fresh “Lev” White is a love and compassion activist. He offers mindfulness, mediation, and diversity trainings as tools for shifting towards more authentic, conscious, and passionate living. He teaches and writes about how unconditional love and self-compassion are the ultimate gateways to honoring and understanding others; thus, healing our communities and our planet.
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Laura Rifkin, holds a PhD in Integral Philosophy & Transformative Learning and master’s degrees in Recreation Administration and Organizational Development & Transformation. Her doctoral dissertation was on a deep feminine path to peacemaking. Laura has been an educator, facilitator, consultant, and community activist for 45 years, a published author, and an exhibiting visual artist. Emerita, Director/Faculty of Recreation Therapy with an Expressive Arts Therapy focus at San Francisco State University, she received an Outstanding Service award from SFSU for her teaching excellence and her original contributions to her field. Lt. Governor Gavin Newsom (then the Mayor of San Francisco) declared Oct. 17, 2008, Laura Rifkin Day in honor of her service to the city. In 2010, Laura received a local hero award from Bank of America for a lifetime of exemplary community service and was celebrated by US Congresswoman Barbara Lee. The California State Assembly and Senate and the cities of Oakland, Berkeley, and San Francisco also honored her pioneering work. The GLBT Historical Society also celebrated Laura as one of 25 outstanding historical leaders at their silver anniversary. Her image is part of the Jewish Cultural Experience mural at Franklin & 14th St, Oakland.
Among her achievements were directing and initiating several large-scale projects in collaboration with a variety of public and private agencies, publishing original work in her field, co-producing a film on women and race, creating a FamCamp program in collaboration with the state parks for homeless families, and leading award-winning programs in diverse disciplines. More recently, she has been the director for the Bay Area Torah of Awakening branch.
In her early work, Laura developed a program on listening and conflict resolution that was used nationally by major corporations, such as Pacific Bell and Blue Cross, to teach hundreds of people those skills.
Much of Laura’s peacemaking work examines the Middle East conflict through the lens of Integral philosophy, which both Palestinians and Israelis have enthusiastically received; her doctoral work examined spiritual approaches to peacemaking intrapersonally, interpersonally, and between nations. She now offers educational programs and consulting using transformative learning methodologies to deepen the contemplation of consciousness, heart, and soul.
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Laura Turbow has been a professional photographer for more than 25 years, including positions at the Oakland Tribune and Des Moines Register. The same ethos that drove her work as a photojournalist -- stopping time with her photos -- still drives her studio work, where she's run Laura Turbow Photography since last century. Everyday subjects in front of her camera are combinations of her family of four and the best dog ever.
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I am a visual artist working in many mediums. Making my work has been a source of refuge and meditation. You can see more of my work www.laurenari.com
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Rabbi Nate DeGroot is the Associate Director of The Shalom Center. You can read his biography here.
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Elly Malka is a student of Kabbalah and Vipassana Buddhism. Her program, "8 Forms of Love in the Tree of Life," shows how Chesed permeates our lives and how to tap into it through the Sephirotic journey.
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Elizheva Hurvich has served as a Jewish educator and independent ritual artist and leader for over two decades. A native to the Bay Area, she lives in Oakland, CA with her spouse, offspring, and creatures. She is currently in her final year of Rabbinical School with ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal.
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Tova Birnbaum is a faculty member in the Mandel Educational Leadership Program at the Mandel Institute for Nonprofit Leadership and a Senior Jewish Education Specialist at the JCC Association. She was the Director of Jewish Content at the Oshman Family JCC in Palo Alto. Tova was born in B'nai B'rak, Israel, in an Ultra-Orthodox home, and was one of the founders of the BINA Secular Yeshiva in Tel Aviv, where she was a faculty member for many years. She also served as the Central Shlicha (emissary), Director of the North America Region of the World Zionist Organization. Tova is a Judaic studies teacher, Theater Midrash workshop facilitator, and a Secular Jewish Life Cycle ceremonies officiant. She is now a Rabbinic Ordination student at the Shalom Hartman Institute Beit Midrash For A New North American Rabbinate. She serves on the Board of Directors of the Gideon Hausner Jewish Day School in Palo Alto and on the Birthright Israel Education Committee. Tova holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Jewish Philosophy from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and a master's degree in Theater from Tel Aviv University. Tova and her husband live in Palo Alto and are proud parents of two daughters.
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Noah Wolf-Prusan is a Jewish farmer, educator, and community builder. He has worked in a myriad of Jewish community institutions and still has found time to bake delicious loaves of challah. Noah deeply values grounded conversations rooted in empathy and understanding.
Tent of Mourning Organizational Partners & Sponsors
Thank you to the following organizations and companies, who have all helped to promote and support the Tent of Mourning.
Links to each organization can be found in the FAQ section.
Session Presenters &
Spiritual Care Team
Scroll down for full schedule and session descriptions
Alix Lutnick
Amy Tobin
Ariella Powers
Cantor Linda Hirschhorn
Cantor Richard Schwartz
Chaplain Jonathan Furst
Dania March LCSW
Dr. Laura Rifkin
Elizheva Hurvich
Estelle Frankel
Kohenet Amanda Nube
“Fresh” Lev White
Lila Rimalovski
Lisa Zeiler
Maggid Jhos Singer
Oren Jay sofer
Peretz Wolf-Prusan
Rabbi Amy Eilberg
Rabbi Dan Goldblatt
Rabbi Dev Noily
Rabbi Diane Elliot
Rabbi Faryn Borella
Rabbi Gray Myrseth
Rabbi Jennie Chabon
Rabbi Josh Weisman
Rabbi Jill Zimmerman
Rabbi Lavey Derby
Rebecca Schisler
Renée Benmeleh
Rory Katz
What’s an actifest?
A Jewishly-rooted, holiday-oriented embodiment of public prophetic action. An “activist festival.” The core of The Shalom Center’s strategy.
