Shoshana Elkin Waskow’s Hesped / Eulogy for Arthur Waskow z”l

Delivered at Arthur’s funeral in Philadelphia on October 22, 2025

Soon after Dad entered hospice care, I told him a short version of these words and I want to share an expanded version with all of you.

When Dad wrote the Freedom Seder, he included a “lo dayenu” — “this is NOT enough” alongside the traditional Dayenu.

I, however, created a personal “kein dayenu” list for my Dad:

If you had only recognized the importance of learning history in order to change the future. Dayenu

If you had only brought Martin Luther King to talk with democratic leaders at the 1964 DNC in an effort to seat the Mississippi Freedom Party delegation. Dayenu

If you had only stood between the cops and demonstrators at the 1968 DNC. Dayenu

If you had only written the Freedom Seder, transforming American Jewry’s experience of Pesach and their commitment to liberating everyone from oppression. Dayenu

If you had only used your privilege to support the rights of Black people, women, and queer folk. Dayenu

If you put your body on the line in civil disobedience only once let alone a couple dozen times. Dayenu

If you had only shared your brilliant words and calls to action in books and emails — honestly, a few fewer emails, seriously. Dayenu

If you only transformed the way many people experience the Name and Presence of Divinity by connecting us with sacred breath. Dayenu

But those are the public ones, these are the personal:

If you and Mom only instilled in us a belief that our values, rather than our personal interest, must drive our behavior. Dayenu

If you and Mom only taught us that justice and peace are core values. Dayenu

If you and Mom only brought us up in an urban neighborhood where we were not part of the majority — which taught us so much. Dayenu

If you had only taught us the joy of seeking the etymology of words (which you enjoined us to do even in the final days of your life). Dayenu

If you only brought us up in a joyous creative Jewish world, helping us connect deeply to our Jewish identity. Dayenu

If you had only raised me in community with amazing feminist leaders to serve as my role models. Dayenu

If you had only found Phyllis and given us this loving intertwined family. Dayenu

If you had only lifted me on your shoulders at demonstrations and Simchat Torah. And carried me to bed on Friday nights when I fell asleep reading in the living room. And introduced me to science fiction and fantasy. Dayenu

And yet there were many times when I did want more from you. When it was not enough.

I wanted less fear and anger and more compassion.

I wanted more focus on our family and less on your public persona.

In these past 2 decades, you worked hard to grow to meet these needs. And I am so grateful for your efforts. While our relationship wasn’t perfect (whose is?), we found ways to love each other which were enough.

I will not miss your abundant multicolored bolded and capitalized emails, but I will miss your word-play, your clear eyed and prescient activism, your smile and laugh and whistle. I will miss your hugs but I will lean into knowing that your love is still with me and our relationship doesn’t end while I live. Dayenu. I love you.